Some wins from processing my 3,5 year old Son.
My son is 3,5 years old now and since he was little I did some processes with him to address things he ran into.
When growing up, especially when he started to walk, he of course started to literally and physically run into things.
From early on I used a kind of Approximation Process to reconstruct exatctly what happened, where it happened, with exactly which part he hit the physical universe object, how his body position and movement was etc.
He got so used to this "contact assist" that it became second nature to him to inspect and approximate his bumping into objects.
This works really well and I had previously many wins using this type of process on others. (One time the lady I made do the contact was amazed as if I had performed a miracle ir something when her pain at once vanished. It was right after she ran against a door that was closing.)
But Felix, my son, when he bumps against something now, and when I am present and make him aware of "the drill" he willingly does and sometimes he does it with his attention alone, recognizes what happened and how it happened and it's all settled.
One question I am asking after the pain blows is: "What did you want to do or where did you want to go before it happened?" (That's a missing piece in the earlier "Assist" tech.)
Another piece of tech I am using with him is letting him defining words ("what does this word mean?") when I see him use a new word for the first time (and sometimes he picks up new words and uses them in a context where the words seem misplaced). And he tells me what his comprehension of the meaning of the word is. And often times I am myself amazed how well he can explain to me what the word means. And sometimes I am correcting his definition with a definition that is more correct, giving examples how to use it etc.
Yet another piece of tech I am using are locational type processes when we are outside on a walk. He loves them. "Find a tree", "find another tree", "find a chimney" etc. Just meant to extrovert his attention. Nothing fancy.
Now the latest piece of tech I have used, and which sparked my intent to share it, was when he didn't want to tell me how he broke something.
So he broke a pen-drive some days ago. It was a usb pen-drive that was plugged into the radio. There are some music tracks on the drive he likes to listen to.
His mom told me that he broke it (with him present). I asked, "how did you do that?"
"I can not tell you this," he replied.
I said: "Okay, maybe you can tell me this tonight before you go to bed, alright?" He nodded.
But I forgot to ask him that night.
2 days passed and I remembered and then went to him and asked him again.
He was very hesitant. I didn't push him, but at the other hand I didn't want this to become his Solution. I maintained presence and good communication and said "Maybe you want to show me right there where it happened."
We agreed that we would do it later.
And then at the dinner table he said: "I can now tell you how it happened."
"How you broke the pen-drive?" I asked. "Yes"
And we went over to the radio and he showed me.
I was really glad and thanked him for telling me how it happened.
We talked a little more about it and how he could be more cautious next time etc.
Then I asked him: "How do you feel now?" to which he replied, to my amazement: "Better!"
Sabine heard the whole interaction from the kitchend and saw how glad I was when he finally had this off his shoulder.
He had a real win. And I had a win too. Having secrets, even little ones, at this age is not good. And I had to look what happened that he didn't feel he is in a "safe space" to tell what happened. But I am not finding anything coming from his current environment so much (so could be from a previous LT).
In any event I really enjoy the lighthearted approach to processing.
If any of you have experiences from interacting with little children and can share processes that are useful at this age, please let me know.
Best regards,
Christian
Topic: Some wins from processing my 3,5 year old Son. (Read 58 times)
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